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- #018 When the World Doesn’t See You – The Stoic Practice of Self-Worth
#018 When the World Doesn’t See You – The Stoic Practice of Self-Worth
How Stoicism teaches us to hold our value from within, especially when we feel overlooked in work, relationships, or life.
Rey Mungai
March 27, 2025
"It is not things themselves that disturb us, but our opinions about them."
We’ve all felt invisible at some point. Passed over for a job. Unappreciated in a relationship. Overlooked in a room where we gave our all. It’s an ache that sits in the silence—Do they even see me? Do I matter here?
In my own life, I’ve sat with that feeling more than once. Whether in work, love, or even fatherhood, I’ve had to wrestle with what it means to be unseen—and how to still hold onto my worth.
The Stoics remind us of something radical: Being unseen by the world is not the same as being unworthy.
Perception and Ego: Reframing the Narrative
“If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your integrity.”
We all want to be seen. It’s natural. But the ego craves it so much that when it doesn’t come, we begin to create meaning that may not exist.
We assume:
“I must not be good enough.”
“They don’t respect me.”
“Something’s wrong with me.”
But the Stoics offer a different way. They ask:
Is it really rejection, or is it just redirection?
Is this silence a judgment—or just a pause?
I’ve learned that not everything is about me, and most things don’t need to be.
Self-Worth Is a Discipline
“He who despises himself still respects himself as one who despises.”
Here’s what the Stoics understood long before the age of likes and metrics:
Self-worth isn’t a feeling—it’s a practice.
It’s waking up and showing up even when no one claps. It’s staying aligned to your values even when there’s no one to validate them. I’ve had projects flop, ideas ignored, texts go unanswered. But still—I write, I build, I lead, I love. Because self-worth is not borrowed from others. It’s built internally.
Legacy > Validation
“Don’t waste time worrying if others see you. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
If your only motivation is recognition, what happens when it doesn’t come? The Stoic seeks something deeper than applause: a legacy of integrity. Recognition fades. Titles pass. Even praise becomes noise. But how you live when no one is watching? That’s your real resume.
Let the Work Be the Proof
Being unseen is not failure—it is preparation.
Like the roots of a tree growing in darkness, your growth in obscurity is no less real.
“To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference.”
So this week—don’t ask, “Am I being seen?”
Ask instead: Am I still being me?
Speak soon,
-Rey
Sophia • Andreia • Dikaiosyne • Sophrosyne
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